definition: sports
Once again the Olympics are upon us, and once again we are forced to sit through hours of boring-as-shit, pansy-ass, pussyfied "sports" the likes of figure skating, ice dancing, and such. Who the FUCK cares?! Why do I have to sit through that shit just to see 5 minutes of REAL sports?! And that brings us to today's topic, what constitutes a sport? Last year I shared my definition of an athlete, and today I'm going to clarify exactly what a sport is.
Let me start by specifying that one DOES NOT necessarily need to be an athlete to participate in a sport at a high level, and vice versa. For example, race car drivers, NOT athletes, however they DO participate in a sport. Conversely, figure skaters/gymnasts and the like are definitely athletes, but they DO NOT participate in a sport. Let me explain.
First of all, what I am talking about are competitive sports, sports in which there are 2 or more teams/players competing directly against each other. Singular sports, games you play against yourself, those don't count. I can't really think of any examples right now, but I'm sure they exist.
Anyway, to me, in my mind, what constitutes a sport, in the simplest possible terms, is a race. Be it a race to the finish line, the checkered flag, a race against the clock, a race to score points, a race to throw something farther than someone else, a sport is defined by the RACE. Furthermore, a sport is defined by the way a winner is declared. Basically, if a layperson cannot look at the particulars of an event, be it points, time, or whatever, and clearly determine who won, it's NOT a sport. My javelin is farther than your javelin, I win. You score more points than me, you win. It's that simple.
So why are figure skating/gymnastics/ice dancing NOT sports? Because there is no race. There is no direct competition. They are not involved in any obvious, physical struggle against each other. Their "sport" declares winners by the subjective judgment of non-participants. They judge and then compare scores. That's not sport, that's a fucking test. Yes, of course they are performing athletic feats. No, it's not easy to do, and I'm not saying that it is. I am simply saying that it is NOT a sport. It is NOT a game. These athletes are more performers than sportsmen/women. It's the fucking circus with judges. It's the fucking "Ice Capades" with scorecards(speaking of which, who the FUCK keeps them in business?!). Sorry if you like that shit, but NO ONE is EVER going to convince me that it's a legitimate competitive sport, because it just ISN'T. And I'm not just singling out the sally-ass events, ANY event that goes to judgment doesn't qualify, like ski jumping, snowboard halfpipe and the like.
P.S.:
An anomaly to this definition, before anyone brings it up, is boxing. When there is a knockout, there is clearly a winner, but when it goes to the judges to be scored, that's bullshit to me. The way I see it, when a boxing match goes to the judge's scores, it's a draw. I don't give a shit who threw more punches, who landed more hits, who got knocked down, that shit is inconsequential. A boxing match doesn't end until someone can't get up, simple as that. Anything else is fucking pussy.
Let me start by specifying that one DOES NOT necessarily need to be an athlete to participate in a sport at a high level, and vice versa. For example, race car drivers, NOT athletes, however they DO participate in a sport. Conversely, figure skaters/gymnasts and the like are definitely athletes, but they DO NOT participate in a sport. Let me explain.
First of all, what I am talking about are competitive sports, sports in which there are 2 or more teams/players competing directly against each other. Singular sports, games you play against yourself, those don't count. I can't really think of any examples right now, but I'm sure they exist.
Anyway, to me, in my mind, what constitutes a sport, in the simplest possible terms, is a race. Be it a race to the finish line, the checkered flag, a race against the clock, a race to score points, a race to throw something farther than someone else, a sport is defined by the RACE. Furthermore, a sport is defined by the way a winner is declared. Basically, if a layperson cannot look at the particulars of an event, be it points, time, or whatever, and clearly determine who won, it's NOT a sport. My javelin is farther than your javelin, I win. You score more points than me, you win. It's that simple.
So why are figure skating/gymnastics/ice dancing NOT sports? Because there is no race. There is no direct competition. They are not involved in any obvious, physical struggle against each other. Their "sport" declares winners by the subjective judgment of non-participants. They judge and then compare scores. That's not sport, that's a fucking test. Yes, of course they are performing athletic feats. No, it's not easy to do, and I'm not saying that it is. I am simply saying that it is NOT a sport. It is NOT a game. These athletes are more performers than sportsmen/women. It's the fucking circus with judges. It's the fucking "Ice Capades" with scorecards(speaking of which, who the FUCK keeps them in business?!). Sorry if you like that shit, but NO ONE is EVER going to convince me that it's a legitimate competitive sport, because it just ISN'T. And I'm not just singling out the sally-ass events, ANY event that goes to judgment doesn't qualify, like ski jumping, snowboard halfpipe and the like.
P.S.:
An anomaly to this definition, before anyone brings it up, is boxing. When there is a knockout, there is clearly a winner, but when it goes to the judges to be scored, that's bullshit to me. The way I see it, when a boxing match goes to the judge's scores, it's a draw. I don't give a shit who threw more punches, who landed more hits, who got knocked down, that shit is inconsequential. A boxing match doesn't end until someone can't get up, simple as that. Anything else is fucking pussy.
posted by evil D at 22.2.06
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