Stretching Ass Dancing
Hi there! It's been quite some time since I put anything on here, but I'm back. I'll keep it short while I get myself back into it.
Anyway, I tend to keep pretty odd hours, which means that I end up watching a lot of infomercials. You name it, I've seen it several dozen times, and I gotta give 'em credit, those things are certainly entertaining. My personal favorite is "Ronco's Showtime Knife Set." But the other day I saw a new one, a fitness video infomercial. Normally I skip over those, but this one was particularly intriguing. It interested me not because of what they were doing, or the T&A, but rather the name. What was this piece of shit called? "Yoga Booty Ballet." That's funny!
The infomercial featured all of the typical workout video conventions, y'know, bunch of hot skinny white chicks in leotards dancin' around and twisting themselves into somewhat suggestive poses. That's not what was funny. What was funny was throughout the whole thing, they keep using the word "booty." These old white chicks are just spitting it out like it's something they've been saying their whole life, except that they obviously don't fully grasp the connotations of the word. Apparently they think that "booty" refers to the buttocks, which, to be fair, it does, however, what they clearly fail to understand is that "booty" does NOT just indicate your ass, but carries with it the suggestion of something you DO with it. This is both hilarious and somewhat disgusting to me.
Perhaps it's just the latent racist in me, but I'm sorry, white people need to TALK LIKE WHITE PEOPLE. I don't ever need to hear some vacuous suburban white chick throwing around words like, "booty," "bling," or anything ending in "-izzle." To all you people who do this, clearly nobody else has the heart to tell you, but YOU SOUND LIKE AN ASSHOLE. Eminem doesn't even talk like that! Because he has enough respect for the culture to not mock it in such a way.
And I'm not just talking ebonics here, either. Am I the only person in the world who thinks that evening news anchors sound crazy when they pronounce Latin names and countries with an accent? They're speaking in perfect neutral Midwestern Amercian English right up until they get to "Nicaragua," then they suddenly turn into Cheech Marin? That just cracks me up.
Bottom line, you people know who you are, and you need to knock that shit off right fucking now. Not for my sake, but for your own, because you sound ridiculous and you're embarrassing yourself. Just so you know.
Uh, yeah, so that's pretty much all I got right now, but I'll be back soon with something else. Until then, take it easy out there, people.
Actually, scratch that last part. Fuck you! And go to Hell!
Anyway, I tend to keep pretty odd hours, which means that I end up watching a lot of infomercials. You name it, I've seen it several dozen times, and I gotta give 'em credit, those things are certainly entertaining. My personal favorite is "Ronco's Showtime Knife Set." But the other day I saw a new one, a fitness video infomercial. Normally I skip over those, but this one was particularly intriguing. It interested me not because of what they were doing, or the T&A, but rather the name. What was this piece of shit called? "Yoga Booty Ballet." That's funny!
The infomercial featured all of the typical workout video conventions, y'know, bunch of hot skinny white chicks in leotards dancin' around and twisting themselves into somewhat suggestive poses. That's not what was funny. What was funny was throughout the whole thing, they keep using the word "booty." These old white chicks are just spitting it out like it's something they've been saying their whole life, except that they obviously don't fully grasp the connotations of the word. Apparently they think that "booty" refers to the buttocks, which, to be fair, it does, however, what they clearly fail to understand is that "booty" does NOT just indicate your ass, but carries with it the suggestion of something you DO with it. This is both hilarious and somewhat disgusting to me.
Perhaps it's just the latent racist in me, but I'm sorry, white people need to TALK LIKE WHITE PEOPLE. I don't ever need to hear some vacuous suburban white chick throwing around words like, "booty," "bling," or anything ending in "-izzle." To all you people who do this, clearly nobody else has the heart to tell you, but YOU SOUND LIKE AN ASSHOLE. Eminem doesn't even talk like that! Because he has enough respect for the culture to not mock it in such a way.
And I'm not just talking ebonics here, either. Am I the only person in the world who thinks that evening news anchors sound crazy when they pronounce Latin names and countries with an accent? They're speaking in perfect neutral Midwestern Amercian English right up until they get to "Nicaragua," then they suddenly turn into Cheech Marin? That just cracks me up.
Bottom line, you people know who you are, and you need to knock that shit off right fucking now. Not for my sake, but for your own, because you sound ridiculous and you're embarrassing yourself. Just so you know.
Uh, yeah, so that's pretty much all I got right now, but I'll be back soon with something else. Until then, take it easy out there, people.
Actually, scratch that last part. Fuck you! And go to Hell!
