How to Get Away With Murder, episode 1: the Victim
Hello there! Today we're introducing a brand new feature called "How to Get Away With Murder." This will be intermittent, like "Gross Fact of the Day," so there may or may not be new information regarding this feature on a regular basis. Some of these segments will be long and involved, others will simply be a short rule or tip, but over time they will pretty much amount to step-by-step instructions.
Now, let me start by saying that I do not approve, participate, or encourage any murderous activities, this is strictly for informational and educational purposes only. You, the reader, are solely responsible for how this information is used.
Secondly, I have ABSOLUTELY no "insider" knowledge of such things, ALL of the information contained in this feature is easily available to anyone willing to do the research, and frankly, most of what I've based this on is years and years of watching "Law & Order" and "C.S.I." It's shocking, really, what a keen observer can glean from just paying attention during the "investigations" on such programs. Anyway, the point is, I don't know these things from experience, this information is ENTIRELY untested, and these things can be figured out by absolutely anyone.
That stuff out of the way, today's segment is entitled "the Victim" because that's where you have to start if you're going to murder someone, right? Before you make any other preparations, selection of your victim is PARAMOUNT to not getting caught. 95% of all solved murders are the result of some connection between the perpetrator and the victim. Such connections are generally the best leads that investigators ever get, and they follow them astoundingly deeply. Therefore, we come to our first rule of murder:
Rule #1: Kill a complete and total stranger.
Killing a friend, or a friend of a friend, or just some guy you see at the donut shop, that's absolutely the surest way to get busted. You'll never get away with it. Nor will any "Throw Momma From the Train"-style "you kill my friend and I'll kill your's"-type arrangements ever work, either, considering there's still a connection between yourself and the victim. So if you hate your wife or your boss or whatever, that's completely out of the picture, you'll get busted within a day, don't even bother. Killing a complete and total stranger is the ONLY way you can even hope to get away with it. So I guess, in a way, this is an instruction set for serial murder, but let's just ignore that. Once again, this is all just for fun.
So how do you find a complete and total stranger? It's actually a lot more work than you would think. It's shocking how many people the average person comes into contact with on a daily basis. You want to stay local, but not TOO local. You want to select someone within 15 or 20 miles of where you live or work, but no less than 10, and no more than 25. The reason for this is, you want to be just a face in the crowd, and you want to have familiar surroundings. You DO NOT want to be a complete stranger around where you will doing your deed, but you don't want to be a familiar face, either. "Fitting in" is absolutely essential to anonymity, and someone from New York is going to be pretty out of place in, say, Minnesota. So you have to be able to blend into a crowd, not stand out from it.
Find a familiar area in the general vicinity of, but not nearby a place you go frequently. Selection of a specific target is not necessary at this time, overplanning at this juncture is excessive and will lead to you getting caught, so right now, victim selection is limited to finding a general area. Bear in mind people you know who live or work in that area, and try to avoid any areas where you know more than a few people.
That's pretty much it as far as the victim selection stage of pre-planning. Further instruction to come...
Now, let me start by saying that I do not approve, participate, or encourage any murderous activities, this is strictly for informational and educational purposes only. You, the reader, are solely responsible for how this information is used.
Secondly, I have ABSOLUTELY no "insider" knowledge of such things, ALL of the information contained in this feature is easily available to anyone willing to do the research, and frankly, most of what I've based this on is years and years of watching "Law & Order" and "C.S.I." It's shocking, really, what a keen observer can glean from just paying attention during the "investigations" on such programs. Anyway, the point is, I don't know these things from experience, this information is ENTIRELY untested, and these things can be figured out by absolutely anyone.
That stuff out of the way, today's segment is entitled "the Victim" because that's where you have to start if you're going to murder someone, right? Before you make any other preparations, selection of your victim is PARAMOUNT to not getting caught. 95% of all solved murders are the result of some connection between the perpetrator and the victim. Such connections are generally the best leads that investigators ever get, and they follow them astoundingly deeply. Therefore, we come to our first rule of murder:
Rule #1: Kill a complete and total stranger.
Killing a friend, or a friend of a friend, or just some guy you see at the donut shop, that's absolutely the surest way to get busted. You'll never get away with it. Nor will any "Throw Momma From the Train"-style "you kill my friend and I'll kill your's"-type arrangements ever work, either, considering there's still a connection between yourself and the victim. So if you hate your wife or your boss or whatever, that's completely out of the picture, you'll get busted within a day, don't even bother. Killing a complete and total stranger is the ONLY way you can even hope to get away with it. So I guess, in a way, this is an instruction set for serial murder, but let's just ignore that. Once again, this is all just for fun.
So how do you find a complete and total stranger? It's actually a lot more work than you would think. It's shocking how many people the average person comes into contact with on a daily basis. You want to stay local, but not TOO local. You want to select someone within 15 or 20 miles of where you live or work, but no less than 10, and no more than 25. The reason for this is, you want to be just a face in the crowd, and you want to have familiar surroundings. You DO NOT want to be a complete stranger around where you will doing your deed, but you don't want to be a familiar face, either. "Fitting in" is absolutely essential to anonymity, and someone from New York is going to be pretty out of place in, say, Minnesota. So you have to be able to blend into a crowd, not stand out from it.
Find a familiar area in the general vicinity of, but not nearby a place you go frequently. Selection of a specific target is not necessary at this time, overplanning at this juncture is excessive and will lead to you getting caught, so right now, victim selection is limited to finding a general area. Bear in mind people you know who live or work in that area, and try to avoid any areas where you know more than a few people.
That's pretty much it as far as the victim selection stage of pre-planning. Further instruction to come...
