Bury Me With A Yellow Ribbon Pinned to My Forehead
What is the fuckin' deal with everybody and the goddamn ribbons? Who the fuck started this shit? Everywhere you look, there's yellow ribbons plastered on the backs of cars, pinned on lapels, attached to American fuckin' flags. And it's not just yellow ribbons, there's a whole color code to the shit. You got your yellow ribbon for the troops. Then you got your red ribbons for I don't even know what. Then there's blue ribbons and green ribbons and white ribbons, all signifying some different bullshit cause. But really, does anyone REALLY know what these fuckin' things are for?
I do. It's the master plan of some moron somewhere, who probably already owned a fuckin' ribbon factory and shit, and decided they're going to market this thing where you wear a ribbon to show that you support the troops, or you care about women with breast cancer, or you love to show everybody in the world that you're a lazy, ignorant fucking sheep who cares only about what other people think about them. That's right, because what that's called is vanity. Sorry, I know you'd rather get pulled over carpet tacks and dipped in vinegar than admit it, but it's the fucking truth. That shit is totally, completely, ABSOLUTELY about vanity.
I'm sure you can already tell that I LOVE the ribbons. Love that shit. I got boxes and boxes of the things at my house, in all the colors of the rainbow, because whenever tragedy occurs, the first thing I do is ask myself, "What's the shortest, easiest, cheapest way I could possibly show EVERYBODY that I want you to think that I care, even though I'm not actually helping ANYBODY?" And obviously I'm not alone because I see that shit EVERYWHERE. Cars. Store windows. Billboards. Newspaper advertisements. Anything and everything now comes with a little ribbon icon on it somewhere, because they want you to know that they care.
...about your money.
But this isn't about corporate bullshit, this is about the little guy, your next-door neighbor with the big-ass flag hangin' on the front door, and the back door, and the little car window flags, and the flag stickers on the doors, because this guy REALLY, TRULY cares about not doin' shit about anything except showing everybody that he's a patriotic motherfucker because, "A bunch of dirty A-Rabs flew some planes into some buildings and killed a lot of good people." And this is about all the fucking soccer moms who have ribbons plastered on all four sides of their fuckin' SUV's so they won't look bad in front of all the other fuckin' idiot soccer moms who "Just want to do SOMETHING to show my support for the troops. But I don't like the war, I don't think we should have to fight a war just for oil! Hee hee hee!" Lady, if they're fighting that war for anything, it's so YOU can drive your fuckin' Escalade around town at like, three miles a gallon.
Do these people actually think that there's a marine out in Iraq or Afghanistan or wherever, who hasn't had a shower in four months, living in a fuckin' impact crater, eating rats and bugs and shit because army rations taste like snot in a bag, spending his days torturing prisoners and shooting at his fellow soldiers(And what is the deal with the "friendly fire" shit? Aren't we supposed to be the most advanced army in the history of the fuckin' world, and we can't even distinguish between ourselves and the enemy? What the fuck?! But that's another story entirely...), do these people REALLY believe that that guy is sitting in his fuckin' hole, thinking, "Man, this sucks ass, but those ribbons people are wearing back home really make me feel better about all this."? No, I don't think so. Those ribbons aren't meant to do anything for the troops, that shit is to make YOU feel better about yourself for not doing anything else.
The point of all this is that this ribbon bullshit is ABSOLUTELY THE LEAST THING YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO. Wearing a ribbon is NOT EVEN a step above doing nothing. You want to "support the troops"? Write a letter, make a phone call, organize a meeting, do something, do ANYTHING pro-active to get those fuckers home. Personally I don't give a shit about them, they volunteered, they should have known better, fuck 'em. But those of you who DO care, get up off your lazy ass and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Cynical as I and most Americans are, believe it or not, WE DO HAVE THE POWER. But we have to wield it in order to see results. Pinning a ribbon on and just sitting back is just not gonna cut it. The Bush administration doesn't want you to do anything other than pin a ribbon on because they know that if they convince you that this shallow, petty, ignorant, and downright selfish gesture is "helping the troops," you'll sit back and take whatever ass-reamingly retarded bullshit policy they come up with to "protect you."
The government can't protect you from itself, so those who want change MUST CHANGE IT. Accepting that the Bush administration is eroding away all of your personal rights in the interest of "your own protection" is idiotic and dangerous, and the only way it's going to stop is if you ignore your irrational fears, get the facts, and fight for the things YOU want. The government doesn't control you, YOU DO. So act like it. Or get a job at the ribbon factory.
I do. It's the master plan of some moron somewhere, who probably already owned a fuckin' ribbon factory and shit, and decided they're going to market this thing where you wear a ribbon to show that you support the troops, or you care about women with breast cancer, or you love to show everybody in the world that you're a lazy, ignorant fucking sheep who cares only about what other people think about them. That's right, because what that's called is vanity. Sorry, I know you'd rather get pulled over carpet tacks and dipped in vinegar than admit it, but it's the fucking truth. That shit is totally, completely, ABSOLUTELY about vanity.
I'm sure you can already tell that I LOVE the ribbons. Love that shit. I got boxes and boxes of the things at my house, in all the colors of the rainbow, because whenever tragedy occurs, the first thing I do is ask myself, "What's the shortest, easiest, cheapest way I could possibly show EVERYBODY that I want you to think that I care, even though I'm not actually helping ANYBODY?" And obviously I'm not alone because I see that shit EVERYWHERE. Cars. Store windows. Billboards. Newspaper advertisements. Anything and everything now comes with a little ribbon icon on it somewhere, because they want you to know that they care.
...about your money.
But this isn't about corporate bullshit, this is about the little guy, your next-door neighbor with the big-ass flag hangin' on the front door, and the back door, and the little car window flags, and the flag stickers on the doors, because this guy REALLY, TRULY cares about not doin' shit about anything except showing everybody that he's a patriotic motherfucker because, "A bunch of dirty A-Rabs flew some planes into some buildings and killed a lot of good people." And this is about all the fucking soccer moms who have ribbons plastered on all four sides of their fuckin' SUV's so they won't look bad in front of all the other fuckin' idiot soccer moms who "Just want to do SOMETHING to show my support for the troops. But I don't like the war, I don't think we should have to fight a war just for oil! Hee hee hee!" Lady, if they're fighting that war for anything, it's so YOU can drive your fuckin' Escalade around town at like, three miles a gallon.
Do these people actually think that there's a marine out in Iraq or Afghanistan or wherever, who hasn't had a shower in four months, living in a fuckin' impact crater, eating rats and bugs and shit because army rations taste like snot in a bag, spending his days torturing prisoners and shooting at his fellow soldiers(And what is the deal with the "friendly fire" shit? Aren't we supposed to be the most advanced army in the history of the fuckin' world, and we can't even distinguish between ourselves and the enemy? What the fuck?! But that's another story entirely...), do these people REALLY believe that that guy is sitting in his fuckin' hole, thinking, "Man, this sucks ass, but those ribbons people are wearing back home really make me feel better about all this."? No, I don't think so. Those ribbons aren't meant to do anything for the troops, that shit is to make YOU feel better about yourself for not doing anything else.
The point of all this is that this ribbon bullshit is ABSOLUTELY THE LEAST THING YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO. Wearing a ribbon is NOT EVEN a step above doing nothing. You want to "support the troops"? Write a letter, make a phone call, organize a meeting, do something, do ANYTHING pro-active to get those fuckers home. Personally I don't give a shit about them, they volunteered, they should have known better, fuck 'em. But those of you who DO care, get up off your lazy ass and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Cynical as I and most Americans are, believe it or not, WE DO HAVE THE POWER. But we have to wield it in order to see results. Pinning a ribbon on and just sitting back is just not gonna cut it. The Bush administration doesn't want you to do anything other than pin a ribbon on because they know that if they convince you that this shallow, petty, ignorant, and downright selfish gesture is "helping the troops," you'll sit back and take whatever ass-reamingly retarded bullshit policy they come up with to "protect you."
The government can't protect you from itself, so those who want change MUST CHANGE IT. Accepting that the Bush administration is eroding away all of your personal rights in the interest of "your own protection" is idiotic and dangerous, and the only way it's going to stop is if you ignore your irrational fears, get the facts, and fight for the things YOU want. The government doesn't control you, YOU DO. So act like it. Or get a job at the ribbon factory.
