Recycle THIS!
The other day I heard a knock on the door, and when I opened it, there was a man from the local neighborhood association and a cop standing there. They told me they were there to serve a citation to me for not recycling. As I'm sure you can guess, this made my fuckin' day. These two dickheads then hand me a citation for $250 and start lecturing me on the "benefits of recycling." I slammed the door in their faces. Fuckers.
This is bullshit on so many levels, I don't even know where to start. Number one, the only way they would know that I wasn't recycling is if some busy-body, unemployed, old fuckin' hippie was nosing through my trash. Who the fuck really cares about this shit enough to ACTUALLY SIFT THROUGH MY FUCKIN' TRASH?! Apparently, everyone on my fuckin' block. These people are idiots. They bought all the government's propaganda and started recycling EVERYTHING, completely without possessing ANY FACTS.
So here's the facts: recycling has NOT been proven to do jack shit for ANYONE. Period. Of course there are exceptions, and the one exception in this case is aluminum cans. Recycle your aluminum cans, they genuinely conserve resources, not to mention turn a real profit. Everything else, on the other hand, is actually costing you money. That's right, all that glass and paper and cardboard and shit that YOU spend your valuable time sorting through, is actually costing you more money than to just make new glass and paper. Seriously.
People call bullshit on that one all time, but it's absolutely true. People seem to have a real tough time wrapping their minds around the fact that all of their efforts are for naught. Paper is the worst one. EVERYONE is convinced that greedy paper companies are deforesting the world, but it's just not true. Fact is, people use paper, so paper companies grow trees SPECIFICALLY FOR THE PURPOSE OF MAKING PAPER. Think about it. And don't fuckin' tell me that trees don't grow fast enough for that to work. Truth is, they grow SEVERAL TIMES more than they'll need for any given year, just so they WON'T HAVE TO GO INTO THE FOREST. Once again, you don't have to believe me, you can look it up. I am totally not bullshitting you at all.
Fact is, paper and lumber companies don't cause deforestation, POOR PEOPLE cause deforestation. These pricks waste no time blaming big, American corporations for all of their problems, but the truth is, the rain forests ARE NOT clear-cut by greedy American lumber companies, they are clear-cut by the local inhabitants so they can farm on that land and feed themselves. Think about it.
And I'm certainly not saying that big, American corporations aren't greedy, or that they're NOT a part of the problem, BUT they cause substantially LESS damage to the environment than, say, you driving your SUV 70 miles out of the way just so you can shop at THIS store.
And then people say some shit about, "It's not about the money it's about the environment." Sorry, but the fact is, you're NOT trying to save the environment. The environment is going to be just FINE with or without us. What you're really trying to save is YOUR OWN ASS. And that's NOT called conservation, or environmentalism, that's called fear. That's all it is, it's fear. And that's pathetic.
Besides, trash is NOT the big problem that people make it out to be. You think of a landfill, you think of what? You think of a huge field of open trash. That's NOT a landfill, that's a dump. Dumps are disgusting, and I understand why that sort of thing would offend people, but landfills ARE NOT DUMPS. Landfills are EXTREMELY carefully managed disposal sites that look NOTHING like a big field of trash. They actually resemble a modern mine more than anything else. There IS NO OPEN TRASH IN A LANDFILL. It's piled up, covered up, and then compressed down. You would need a backhoe and a few hours to dig up any genuine trash. No bullshit.
Still not convinced? Consider this: one giant landfill 60 miles square and 500 feet deep would hold well over 1000 years' worth of trash. Seriously. Look it up if you don't believe me, but I assure you, it's true.
So I took my citation, signed the back and mailed it back to them. I'm goin' to fight this thing in court, and when I win, and I WILL win, it's all gonna be over for all of you pathetic fuckin' hippies. I'm takin' you ALL on, and when this is over, the world is gonna see things my way. Which is the FACTUAL way. And you're just gonna have to deal with it.
...oh, and by the way, if I EVER catch anyone nosing through my trash, I'm breakin' out the shotgun and goin' fucking hunting. Until that shit goes in the truck, it still belongs to ME, and I protect my property like my fuckin' mother.
This is bullshit on so many levels, I don't even know where to start. Number one, the only way they would know that I wasn't recycling is if some busy-body, unemployed, old fuckin' hippie was nosing through my trash. Who the fuck really cares about this shit enough to ACTUALLY SIFT THROUGH MY FUCKIN' TRASH?! Apparently, everyone on my fuckin' block. These people are idiots. They bought all the government's propaganda and started recycling EVERYTHING, completely without possessing ANY FACTS.
So here's the facts: recycling has NOT been proven to do jack shit for ANYONE. Period. Of course there are exceptions, and the one exception in this case is aluminum cans. Recycle your aluminum cans, they genuinely conserve resources, not to mention turn a real profit. Everything else, on the other hand, is actually costing you money. That's right, all that glass and paper and cardboard and shit that YOU spend your valuable time sorting through, is actually costing you more money than to just make new glass and paper. Seriously.
People call bullshit on that one all time, but it's absolutely true. People seem to have a real tough time wrapping their minds around the fact that all of their efforts are for naught. Paper is the worst one. EVERYONE is convinced that greedy paper companies are deforesting the world, but it's just not true. Fact is, people use paper, so paper companies grow trees SPECIFICALLY FOR THE PURPOSE OF MAKING PAPER. Think about it. And don't fuckin' tell me that trees don't grow fast enough for that to work. Truth is, they grow SEVERAL TIMES more than they'll need for any given year, just so they WON'T HAVE TO GO INTO THE FOREST. Once again, you don't have to believe me, you can look it up. I am totally not bullshitting you at all.
Fact is, paper and lumber companies don't cause deforestation, POOR PEOPLE cause deforestation. These pricks waste no time blaming big, American corporations for all of their problems, but the truth is, the rain forests ARE NOT clear-cut by greedy American lumber companies, they are clear-cut by the local inhabitants so they can farm on that land and feed themselves. Think about it.
And I'm certainly not saying that big, American corporations aren't greedy, or that they're NOT a part of the problem, BUT they cause substantially LESS damage to the environment than, say, you driving your SUV 70 miles out of the way just so you can shop at THIS store.
And then people say some shit about, "It's not about the money it's about the environment." Sorry, but the fact is, you're NOT trying to save the environment. The environment is going to be just FINE with or without us. What you're really trying to save is YOUR OWN ASS. And that's NOT called conservation, or environmentalism, that's called fear. That's all it is, it's fear. And that's pathetic.
Besides, trash is NOT the big problem that people make it out to be. You think of a landfill, you think of what? You think of a huge field of open trash. That's NOT a landfill, that's a dump. Dumps are disgusting, and I understand why that sort of thing would offend people, but landfills ARE NOT DUMPS. Landfills are EXTREMELY carefully managed disposal sites that look NOTHING like a big field of trash. They actually resemble a modern mine more than anything else. There IS NO OPEN TRASH IN A LANDFILL. It's piled up, covered up, and then compressed down. You would need a backhoe and a few hours to dig up any genuine trash. No bullshit.
Still not convinced? Consider this: one giant landfill 60 miles square and 500 feet deep would hold well over 1000 years' worth of trash. Seriously. Look it up if you don't believe me, but I assure you, it's true.
So I took my citation, signed the back and mailed it back to them. I'm goin' to fight this thing in court, and when I win, and I WILL win, it's all gonna be over for all of you pathetic fuckin' hippies. I'm takin' you ALL on, and when this is over, the world is gonna see things my way. Which is the FACTUAL way. And you're just gonna have to deal with it.
...oh, and by the way, if I EVER catch anyone nosing through my trash, I'm breakin' out the shotgun and goin' fucking hunting. Until that shit goes in the truck, it still belongs to ME, and I protect my property like my fuckin' mother.
