Evian Sunk My Battleship
The other day I was watching a George Carlin special on cable and he said something that struck me. He was talking about how he travels all over the country doing shows, and at every show he asks the audience "How's the water around here?" He ALWAYS gets a negative response, he said, which struck me as very, very odd. George Carlin then went off in a different direction, but I was still pondering the water.
People all over this country have a very low opinion of their tap water, while they swear by their pure, clean, mountain-spring fresh store bought bottled water. This is completely fucking insane. Is everyone in this country so brainwashed by their fucking televisions that they can't see through the BULLSHIT that is bottled water?
Ask any random person on the street if they would rather drink from the kitchen faucet in their own homes, or from a factory produced bottle of so-called "spring water?" and you will find that pretty much 100% of them will choose the bottled water. Why? Because people are fucking idiots, that's why. A few minutes of actual thought are all that's required to poke holes in all the arguments for drinking bottled water, and I'm not going to give you all of them, I'll just give you one fact which should hopefully be all that's required.
Consider this : Tap water is regulated by the EPA. The EPA's regulations on tap water are thicker than several phone books combined. There are literally hundreds of thousands of people across the nation whose ONLY JOB is to make sure the water that comes out of YOUR TAP is clean, safe to drink, and even tastes good.
Bottled water, on the other hand, is "regulated" by the FDA. The FDA has exactly NO ONE overseeing this shit. There are billions of gallon of this shit being sold every single day, at ridiculous fucking prices, and I assure you NOBODY has examined, tested, or inspected that shit that you probably have in your fridge right now. That shit could contain ANYTHING. The ingredients say "water" and that's it. You don't know who's putting that shit in that bottle! You don't know what mineral or chemical compounds are dissolved in that shit! You don't have ANY information on there. You don't even know where it came from, really. God forbid, it could even have actually come from the DREADED MUNICIPAL WATER SYSTEM THAT YOU REFUSE TO DRINK WITHOUT PAYING A DOLLAR A GALLON FOR IT. That's right, up to 80% of all bottled "spring" water is actually coming to you directly through THE TAP.
There's some very simple math at work here, and it's all costing YOU a ton of money. Bottled water can cost from one to even five or six dollars a gallon, depending on where the marketing department decides it came from(really, why the fuck is it better to drink water from Hawaii? They got the same pollutants we got here). Tap water is essentially free. You do the math. Just put the fucking Evian down first.
People all over this country have a very low opinion of their tap water, while they swear by their pure, clean, mountain-spring fresh store bought bottled water. This is completely fucking insane. Is everyone in this country so brainwashed by their fucking televisions that they can't see through the BULLSHIT that is bottled water?
Ask any random person on the street if they would rather drink from the kitchen faucet in their own homes, or from a factory produced bottle of so-called "spring water?" and you will find that pretty much 100% of them will choose the bottled water. Why? Because people are fucking idiots, that's why. A few minutes of actual thought are all that's required to poke holes in all the arguments for drinking bottled water, and I'm not going to give you all of them, I'll just give you one fact which should hopefully be all that's required.
Consider this : Tap water is regulated by the EPA. The EPA's regulations on tap water are thicker than several phone books combined. There are literally hundreds of thousands of people across the nation whose ONLY JOB is to make sure the water that comes out of YOUR TAP is clean, safe to drink, and even tastes good.
Bottled water, on the other hand, is "regulated" by the FDA. The FDA has exactly NO ONE overseeing this shit. There are billions of gallon of this shit being sold every single day, at ridiculous fucking prices, and I assure you NOBODY has examined, tested, or inspected that shit that you probably have in your fridge right now. That shit could contain ANYTHING. The ingredients say "water" and that's it. You don't know who's putting that shit in that bottle! You don't know what mineral or chemical compounds are dissolved in that shit! You don't have ANY information on there. You don't even know where it came from, really. God forbid, it could even have actually come from the DREADED MUNICIPAL WATER SYSTEM THAT YOU REFUSE TO DRINK WITHOUT PAYING A DOLLAR A GALLON FOR IT. That's right, up to 80% of all bottled "spring" water is actually coming to you directly through THE TAP.
There's some very simple math at work here, and it's all costing YOU a ton of money. Bottled water can cost from one to even five or six dollars a gallon, depending on where the marketing department decides it came from(really, why the fuck is it better to drink water from Hawaii? They got the same pollutants we got here). Tap water is essentially free. You do the math. Just put the fucking Evian down first.
posted by D at 30.3.05
2 Comments:
When I lived in Santa Barbara I had to mix our tap water with powdered Gatorade to be able to drink it, because otherwise it tasted like ass.
I still wouldn't pay for any damn bottled water, though.
Granted, not all people in the U.S. have municipal water available. Most rural areas are still on well water, which requires its own precautions.
California and its water supply also have their own unique problems, as it's redirected river water, essentially, and I do not qualify most SoCal water to be municipally treated water for the purposes of this piece.
But there are certainly people out there who drink bottled water NOT because they must, but because it's "trendy," and that's bullshit.
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